Taking Good Care of Yourself is Not Optional It's Essential in Recovery

Many people today are focused on productivity and responsibilities that they often put self-care on the bottom of their priority list. Self care tends to be an optional, something they do when they have time, when everything else is done.

However, anyone who is struggling with addiction, mental illness, or health concerns need to make self-care their number one focus. Perhaps this is obvious with those who are already facing medical concerns. However, for those who are having a hard time in their recovery from addiction or those who are facing a mental illness, self care is not an option. It's absolutely essential.

And here's why. Let's say you haven't slept well and you're feeling tired and a little run down. Perhaps you're feeling stressed about a few circumstances in your life, like not knowing how to pay the rent. You're feeling anxious and tired and nothing seems to help in making you feel better. Suddenly an old friend calls and invites you over for a beer. This friend doesn't know you're in recovery. And since he doesn't know and since no one else will know that you went out drinking just this once, why not? Having a beer to relax seems like perfect way to take your mind off things.

Imagine this scenario if you weren't tired. If you had gotten the amount of rest you wanted and you felt a bit more focused and in gear, then perhaps you would have more readily declined your friend's invitation. Perhaps you would have been able to keep your vision of the future in mind - the vision that's helping you stay successful in recovery - and let your friend know that you're not able to join him.

The point is that when we are taking good care of ourselves we have a greater ability to make healthy choices. We have greater resilience, patience, acceptance, inner strength, and confidence. This is precisely why taking good care of yourself is essential in recovery. When you're sleeping well, eating healthy, participating in recovery-oriented services, and spending time with others who are also focused on sobriety, then you're more likely going to stay sober. In fact, good self care can even help you stay happier.

To facilitate greater self care, consider answering the following questions:

What activities can you do that would support your physical well being? This could be exercise 3 times per week, healthy eating, working with a nutritionist, visiting the doctor regularly, or establishing a healthy sleep routine.

What activities can you begin to do for yourself that would support your mental health? This might include working with a therapist, taking medication (if you need it) on a regular basis, or participating in a support group.

What activities can you do that would support your spiritual well being? Being spiritually healthy isn't on everyone's agenda. However, if you consider yourself spiritual, what can you do to support this part of you? This might include attending Sunday church service, volunteering at your church, attending a meditation class, joining a spiritually-oriented support group, or working closely with a pastor or minister.

This is a list of questions to get you thinking about self care and all the ways that you can support yourself throughout your recovery. Remember that taking good care of yourself is not optional! It's essential in recovery from addiction!

Being Grateful Can Turn Failures into Opportunities

Perhaps it sounds hokey pokey to you. Perhaps you're wondering how being grateful for something changes your perspective. Or how gratitude can have an effect on your recovery. Although practicing gratitude might sound like sitting around the campfire and singing Kumbaya, to those who consciously invoke a grateful state of mind, the effects are obvious.

And the effects of gratitude are obvious right in the moment. It doesn't take long to notice just how much the perspective of your life can change with feeling grateful. For instance, let's say you've just relapsed. You're feeling guilty about what happened. You know you really want to stay sober, but there you were with your long-time friend and having a drink was the perfect thing to do - it wouldn't have been the same if you sat there together without a drink in your hand.

But now that it's over, you regret it. One drink led to another and another and another. Your friend had to drive you home while you left your car at the bar. Then, you weren't able to get up on time the next morning and you were late for work. Because your boss already knows that you have a problem with drugs and alcohol, the fact that you were late and that you were hung over didn't look good. And you've been hoping for a raise so that you can get your daughter into another school that's a bit further away, which means more money for gas and a babysitter on some nights. Now the raise is probably six months out.

All these consequences came as a result of one decision, which seemed to be innocent enough at the moment. But now that it's all said and done, you're feeling guilty about what happened and concerned about how to proceed.

Gratitude can turn what seems like a failure into an opportunity. You might start out by making a list of what you feel grateful for. Feel free to get as specific and detailed as you like. For instance, you might feel grateful for:

·         your daughter

·         your job

·         your car

·         a place to live

·         friends

·         family to provide support

·         a boss that keeps you on your toes

·         regular income that brings food on the table

And as you continue to make this list you might realize just how lucky you are. You might recognize that you wouldn't want to ever jeopardize your daughter's life again. What if you were drinking and instead of going with your friend, you drove home and got into a car accident? What if you weren't there for your daughter? Or perhaps your boss wasn't as understanding and fired you right there and then? No longer having the money that provides for you and your daughter would also be a major problem.

Suddenly, the apparent failure of relapse might begin to look like an opportunity. With gratitude in your heart for your life and for all that you have, you recommit to sobriety in a whole new way. This is an opportunity to start over. This is a chance to experience life with your daughter and never turn to drugs or alcohol again.

What To Do When Your Recovery Group is Not Helping Your Sobriety

There have been times when a person who is recovering from an addiction doesn't get the benefits of a sober community as one would hope. Sadly, there are many reasons for this. On the whole, however, support groups can be meaningful, provide hope, and be a foundation for a strengthening sobriety. Yet, on the rare occasion that this doesn't happen, it's important to get the right help. 

Below is a list of examples of situations in which a recovery group is not healthy. In some situations, these circumstances are manageable. But in others, these circumstances might grow big enough to affect the well being of the group and all its members. 

·         Personalities in a group don't get along well. There may be arguments, bullying, and coercing.

·         One's privacy was not respected even when they were told it would be. In AA, a person's anonymity is the foundation of their community. However, it is impossible to enforce this when any of the members could share the contents of a meeting with non-members. Some things that were said in a meeting might be used against people later.

·         Sometimes, people are court-ordered or mandated to attend recovery groups. These men and women might feel like they are there against their will and express their anger, frustration, or emotional pain.

·         When certain religious beliefs are enforced and members are pressured to abide by such religious beliefs, the group may become divided and then not have the ability to be supportive.

·         Some members of the group who have been around for some time may want to abuse their position as leaders. They may be coercive or may even make sexual advances towards others who are new to the group and vulnerable.

·         Some groups might even distribute and promote inaccurate information about addiction, which may undermine a recovering addict's attempt to stay healthy and sober.

·         Sometimes sponsors in a group may not be supportive or even create trouble when there doesn't need to be.

If you recognize any of these situations (or know of similar circumstances), it's important to leave any group that is either harmful or unhealthy. In addition to this, it's important to keep the following in mind:

·         Don't judge the entire recovering community simply by one experience. There are many other groups that can provide the benefits you're looking for.

·         Because most recovery groups are open to everyone, there might be a chance that a person with negative intentions joins a group. Again, this doesn't mean you should throw out recovery entirely. Choose another sponsor, group, or location, as needed.

·         Some groups might not fit the person. For instance, some men and women are turned off by the religious ideas of the 12-step process. In this case, it might be better to locate a group that is secular and more aligned with your views.

·         When you are concerned about your privacy, it may be important to attend a non-local group and perhaps even use a different name.

There are times when a recovery group doesn't sit well with people. It may be unhealthy, dysfunctional, or simply doesn't match your views of the world. If this is the case, research groups in your neighborhood and surrounding areas before choosing another group to attend. You might also contact a mental health provider in your community who may know of options that suit your preferences.